Forward into the past! Recently, the new redistricted Democrat majorities in Michigan’s House and Senate voted to repeal the state’s 2012 Right to Work law. Democrat Governor Gretchen Whitmer proudly signed the bill. It was a bell-ringing triumph for some of Michigan’s most powerful progressive players, who celebrated after their victory, at that noted hangout for Lansing insiders: DinoTroppo’s.

                “Three cheers and raise your glasses!” shouted the Stegosaurus. “Hip! Hip!”

                “Hooray!” the Diplodocus stomped his feet and all the furniture jumped.

                “We did it!” the Allosaurus beamed. “Yes, colleagues, collective coalition completely conquers!”

                “A putative plus for people’s progressive power,” the Plesiosaur raised his head out of the Grand River and in through an open window, dripping. “We showed them who really runs things here!”

                “Reinvent Michigan?” roared the T-Rex. “We’re Re-Re-inventing it. A true paradise of Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion! For us meat eaters and… you know… you other guys.”

                “Vego-Michiganders,” growled a Triceratops who was sipping on a scotch.

                “Back to the future, baby!” the Diplodocus stomped again, and the chandelier rattled.

                “Now we can return our beloved state to its golden age of carboniferous glory! Big companies, big labor, big government!”

                “Disco!” shouted a Stegosaurus.

                “Okay,” the Bronto took a swig of ale. “So maybe scratch the big companies. But government and unions, for sure!”

                “Government unions!” croaked the Pterodactyl.

                “We’ll pay big companies to come! We’re paying Ford almost $700K per job for a battery plant!”

                “Why not just give guys the $700K directly?” asked the Trachodon, who was a little dense.

                “No union dues, no tax revenue,” explained the Triceratops, who’d just lit a cigar.

                “So Michigan can become a big Flint!” the Trachodon crowed. Everybody frowned at him. “Okay, Flint circa 1970.” Everybody smiled.

                “Think of it!” said the Bronto. “Michigan can be our own Jurassic Park.”

                “And Cretaceous,” the T-Rex added.

                “Don’t forget the Triassic!” bellowed a Dimetrodon, flexing his 4 foot sail.

                “Unless we get a big meteor,” said Compy.

                “Nah,” said the T-Rex. “We’ll ban them. Pass a Constitutional Amendment. We got the votes. Just don’t forget to canvas all the museums. Count Every Bone!”

                “Boy, that’s cold blooded!” guffawed the Allosaur. “Cold blooded! Get it?” Everybody groaned.

                “The future!” stomped the Diplodocus. The furniture jumped, plaster fell, and bottles fell over.

                “You spilled my beer, ya moron!” yelled the Steggy. “Do yourself a favor: evolve!”

                The room went silent.

                “That was insensitive,” said the Bronto. “We’re all evolved.”

                “Yeah, we’re not a bunch of Neanderthals.”

                “Well, actually,” Steggy said, “the Neanderthals did come after us.”

                “Who cares!” roared the T-Rex. “Who’s calling who non-evolved? We’re the powers of Michigan. We’re the evolve-ist of all-ist.  I’m a T-Rex. Who’s more evolved than a T-Rex?”

                “Drink up, everybody!” the Trachodon toasted. “Raise your glasses high. To the Progressive Future!”

                 “To Michigan’s Evolution!” T-Rex looked around. “Say, anyone help me with this mug? These little arms don’t quite reach my mouth.”   

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